How To Deal With Someone Who Wants To Destroy You (7 Ways)

How To Deal With Someone Who Wants To Destroy You

Throughout our lives, we have all dealt with people who try to sabotage different aspects of our existence on this earth and the best way for you to face such people is by learning the right ways for how to deal with someone who wants to destroy you.

To find out the best methods for how to deal with someone who wants to destroy you, first you need to know whether the person you are dealing with is a toxic individual or not.

How to know if someone is trying to destroy you?

A man turning into dust in a field

The first step in getting to know whether a person is trying to destroy you or not is by finding out the common characteristics among toxic people through certain signs.

This video might be something you need:

Characteristics Of Toxic People

Characteristics of toxic people can range from obvious behaviors such as acting aggressive toward others to far more complex ones such as gaslighting.

Below, we will discuss each of these behaviors separately and thoroughly to help you get better at recognizing those who try to hurt us in different ways.

1. Gaslighting

One common behavior among toxic people is gaslighting. With the help of this feature, negative people will make it seem as if everything is your fault and try to shift the blame to you instead of

taking responsibility for their mistakes.

2. Using Negative And Judgmental Tones

A man holding a paper with a negative smiley on a white background

Using negative and judgmental tones is another behavioral trait seen among hurtful people. Though a person may use normal speech to address you, he/she can still hurt you indirectly with the way he/she utters his/her words.

3. Trying To Bring You Down By Acting Better Than You

It is very common to see toxic people trying to bring you down by acting better than you and attempting to brag about being your superior instead of praising your current self.

In related situations, these individuals will target your weakness to remind you that you cannot compete with them.


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4. Make You Feel Bad About Your Achievements And Not Celebrate Your Success

jealous coworkers in office


The mentioned group of individuals will make feel bad about your accomplishments by saying things like you should have acted better or done more instead of congratulating you on your success.

5. They Point Out Your Mistakes

Negative people have a tendency to not listening to your problems and instead, they try to Shift your focus to another problem where they can point out your mistakes and make you feel guilty about what you have done in the past.

6. They Always Use Your Previous Failures Against You

Side view of a frustrated young businessman looking at a laptop in the office

Individuals with such traits will do everything to make you lose your confidence by constantly bringing up your previous failures. The reason why they choose to do so is that they want to make sure you will never forget about your mistakes.


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7. They Play The Victim

Earning others’ sympathy by playing the victim is another habit of toxic people. This feature helps them manipulate others into believing that they have done nothing wrong in their entire life and they are innocent human beings.

8. They Feed On Your Failures And Misery

Disappointed young manager knocks his head on the table after analyzing the company's financial budget, failure in business during pregnancy.

Unlike real friends, people who try to destroy you usually feel happier when they see you fail. However, tracking down signs of this behavior can be difficult since toxic people are good at hiding this trait.

9. They Are Insecure And Show Their Frustration Through Hurting Others

Being insecure can also be regarded as a common behavior among the said individuals, which usually shows itself in the form of frustration and hurting others.

10. They Try To Take Revenge On A Previous Misconduct Of Yours

The man who wants revenge

One thing is for sure is that hurtful people usually use their negative acts as a way to make you pay back for previous misconduct of yours. This means that forgiveness is not a part of toxic people’s personalities.

11. They Try To Take Their Anger Out On You

To know whether you have been targeted by a negative person or not look for times when they take their anger out on you even if you had nothing to do with them being angry.

12. Backbiting And Backstabbing

Young women talk behind someone's back

For toxic individuals, friendship is of zero value and once they are out of your sight they will try to bring you harm by talking behind your back (backbiting) and backstabbing you.

13. They Treat You Well Only When They Need Your Help

The only time you can see a hurtful person being nice toward you would be when he/she needs your help with something or wishes to borrow money from you.

14. They Will Never Support You Or Back You Up When You Need Support In Public

Do not expect toxic people to come to your support when you are stuck in a difficult situation, because once you get in trouble they will do anything to avoid helping you out.

In some situations, they may even turn against you and push back against your beliefs.

15. They Try To Isolate You From The Rest Of The People And Lead You Into Cutting Ties With Others But Themselves

Since relationships are not of importance to negative people, they will also try to drag you into cutting ties with others by isolating you from the rest.

This way you will be left alone with nobody but the toxic person at your hand and their negative energy.

Now that you have learned who is regarded as toxic and who is not it is time for you to know how to deal with someone who wants to destroy you.


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1. Be Patient And Respectful

Be patient and kind

Even if you feel like you have been hurt by another person try to act patient and respectful to show them that you cannot be bothered by their minor acts.

This can help the person in question to reconsider his/her behaviors and feel ashamed for acting so badly toward someone, who doesn’t want to bring them harm.

Being well-mannered and showing patience toward negative actions would also work as a way to counteract the effect of what has been said or done by the wrong people, who wish to hurt you.

2. Promote The Habit Of Ignorance

A teenage girl who ignores her friends

Showing ignorance and being indifferent is also another way how to deal with someone who wants to destroy you.

This behavior will prove to your opposite side that you cannot be hurt. Meaning that you are confident enough to believe in yourself and not lose your self-esteem the moment you are attacked by some meaningless negative words.

Since ignoring toxic people usually proves to them that you cannot be rattled by their actions, it will eventually lead them into giving up their attempts at destroying you.

3. Confront Them

Two women are standing face to face

When a person continues to try and hurt you even after you showed respect or indifference toward their behavior, the best option for you would be to confront them.

You need to point out to the negative people in your life that your feelings matter and that what they do or say is only bringing you down.

Therefore, they have no right to attack you every chance they get, because if they do, they shouldn’t expect others to be considerate of their emotions when it comes to that as well.

This can also work as a warning for them to be careful with the way they approach others since not all people act nicely when they are treated badly.

4. Make Yourself A Priority

make yourself a priority a phrase on paper

Another way for you to deal with toxic people is through investing your time on yourself and making yourself a priority.

In order to do so, you will need to turn a blind eye to what destructive individuals try to bring into your life through their actions and mainly focus on yourself.

Here, you are obliged to prove others wrong by growing as a human being and showing that no matter what they say or do nothing can affect your way to success.

This method will help you achieve greatness by ignoring others’ opinions while those who want to see your plans flop remain still where you left them off.

5. Stand Up For Yourself And Stop Being A Pushover

Handsome young man practicing

On some occasions, you may need to stand up for yourself instead of choosing silence by learning to say no to others’ demands.

To stop being a pushover, first, you need to ask yourself whether you want to spend your time making toxic people’s wishes come true or you rather use your day doing something that serves your own purpose.

Another way for you to gain the courage for saying no is through the expression of your emotions. You have to explain to others that they cannot force you into doing what they want and you have the right and choice to say no to their requests.

Also, remember that nobody can make your own decisions for you and if you are not willing to do something, do not be afraid to say it.


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6. Don’t Downgrade Yourself And Be Hard To Reach

Photo of a beautiful young woman and athlete training on the beach

If you start feeling as if someone has been trying to hurt you in the recent while don’t downgrade yourself by spending time with them and instead choose to minimize your contact with them by becoming hard to reach.

In other words, your time and energy should not be spent on people, who are always keeping a record of your mistakes and attempt to attack you whenever they can.

Even if you can’t eliminate those people from your life you can still avoid their negative energy by keeping a certain distance from them.

This practice serves as a reminder that you deserve true friendships and you are worthy of companionships that help you become a better version of yourself.

7. Offer Or Suggest Help

A woman holding out her hand to you

If you feel like the negative group of people in your life can be aided, do not be afraid to offer or suggest them help.

The reason why this might seem like a good solution for some behaviors would be that not all of those, who treat you badly are bad people. And the main explanation for their actions could be their dark life experiences.

Going through hard times, growing up in toxic families, struggling with mental illnesses, and several other reasons could plant the seeds of unacceptable behavior in a lot of individuals and the only way for you to help them would be by offering them help.

Other Ways On How To Deal With Someone Who Wants To Destroy You

Other Ways for you to deal with someone who wants to destroy you include,

  1. Cutting them out of your life: sometimes the only option would be for you to end your relationship with the destructive people in your life and completely lose touch with them for good.


  1. Set boundaries: remind those toxic individuals that there are some aspects of your life, that only concern yourself, and nobody but you have the right to make decisions regarding those matters.


  1. Don’t reveal too much about your life: telling the wrong audience about your weaknesses, strengths, and secrets can lead to you getting hurt by the wrong people. Because if your personal life gets in the wrong hands, the concerned individuals can use it against you, when they need to.

We have found this useful podcast which shows you the side effects of a toxic relationship and teaches you how to identify and deal with it:


In some cases, we may be caught up in the middle of toxic relationships be it with family members, friends, or our partners.

Yet, it is possible that we will lose track of such negativity if it is not brought up to our attention. To help you with your understanding of toxic people, we prepared a list of traits shared among this group of people.

And to help you even further, we decided to present you with some of the most effective ways how to deal with someone who wants to destroy you.

Hopefully, you will enjoy what we have put together for you above!

Written by Saeed Ahmadi

Who am I? A blogger, mindset mentor, personal development coach, content creator, SEO Specialist, digital marketer, entrepreneur, reader by night, and writer by day.

Mindsetopia, my brainchild, is more than a platform, its my vision of a world where everyone has access to the tools and knowledge necessary for personal growth and self-growing.

What really makes me excited is helping people to unlock their true potential. So,I am here to give you the kick you need to change your mind and then your life :)


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    • I know exactly the feeling. I’ve never felt worse in my life and I don’t deserve to feel this way, yet I do and I really want to die anyway. It’s absolutely miserable.

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