My Wife Yells At Me! 8 Ways To React Properly

My wife yells at me! conflict and feelings concept unhappy couple arguing

Wait a minute! does your wife yell at you? Do you keep telling her to stop yelling?

Well, in relationships, couples sometimes argue about different things, which is completely normal.

It is called “difference of opinion”. When they have different points of view, they may state their opinions and try to convince each other.

However, if your wife yells at you during your conversations, and it happens frequently, it’s a kind of emotional abuse and you should search for the reasons that lead them to shout at you.

Since something has changed that bothers your partner.

So, you should figure out what are the roots of her anxiety and anger and how you can stop this abusive behavior.

Several initiatives may lead your wife to yell at you, which you should take seriously.

You should have in mind that yelling in a relationship is not considered to be normal at all.

Therefore, you have to work on your relationship and assess all aspects of your situation.

Shouting and aggressive behaviors make your relationship unhealthy or what is called a “toxic relationship”.

If you are googling terms such as “my wife yells at me” then you are in the right place! We help you to find the reason and react probably to this situation.

So the quick answer to the question “Why my wife yells at me” is this: when people feel that the person doesn’t understand them or they feel unheard then they may start shouting and yelling! From a psychological aspect, this yelling can be just a reaction to feelings such as not being heard, not being understood, being ignored, and not getting any help from her husband!

There is also a very interesting video that can be useful to you:


What can we do??

But now that our wife is shouting at us then what should we do? Here are 8 reactions that we recommend you:

1- When she shouts, do not shout back

2- Try to calm yourself down and relax for a short time

3- Take your time and assess all aspects of her words

4- Listen carefully and pay attention

5- Learn a better way to communicate with her; the NVC technique

6- Try to calm her down after the argument

7- Show her you know your responsibilities

8- Talk to her and take her to a counselor


My wife yells at me! 8 ways to react properly

You should consider that if she had not used to scream before, you might be the main reason why she acts differently now.

You may have done something, which resented her.

So, if you want her to stop yelling at you and give an end to this angry behavior, you should seek the reasons that make her yell at you. Once you discovered her problem, you can take proper action.

1- When she shouts, do not shout back

Yelling just makes everything worse. Not only cannot you focus on her problem, but you also make her even madder. If you shout when she shouts, none of the issues will be solved. Actually, you will need to deal with new issues such as mental disorders. You should not lose your temper if you want to work things out between yourselves. Try to listen and analyze all the words that she says.


2- Try to calm yourself down and relax for a short time

After she yelled at you, try to walk away and think carefully about all the things she mentioned. Do not be around because she may get even madder at you. Let yourself relax for a short time so that you can think in a silent place. Thinking in tranquil places contributes to you concentrating on your concern without being around your wife. Therefore, you can hastily come to a conclusion about your issues.


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3- Take your time and assess all aspects of her words

You can easily find out what is the purpose of her behavior. If you realized why she is mad, immediately talk to her and apologize for the things you have done wrong. Try to compensate for your misbehavior with a nice treat, like a great dinner in her favorite restaurant.


4- Listen carefully and pay attention

When she speaks to you, listen carefully and respond to her so that you give her the feeling that you pay attention to her. You can repeat the things that she says in other words. This gives her the feeling that you understand her issues, and she tells you more about her concerns since she trusts you as her confidant. This way, you can rebuild your relationship.


5- Learn a better way to communicate with her; the NVC technique

You can easily find out the purpose of her behavior by best understanding which one of her needs is unmet if you carefully listen to what she says. If you realize why she is mad, you can address how she feels and how to provide for her needs eventually.

Communication is vital in a relationship, and learning the powerful and essential tool of nonviolent communication technique (NVC) could lead to a more peaceful time with her.


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6- Try to calm her down after the argument

Try to be kind and act in a way that she understands it.

Let her know that you think she is perfect and show how precious she is to you.

For instance, you can buy her the flowers that she likes or a gift that can be memorable for her.

In fact, by doing these little things, you make her sure that you love her and nobody else, which can make a huge contribution to the promotion of her self-confidence and self-esteem.

Through this approach, you prevent her from comparing herself with other younger women.


7- Show her you know your responsibilities

Show that you are willing to take more responsibility for household chores so that she will not be under duress by so many responsibilities.

Take responsibility for most of the house chores so that she realizes you care about her health, and you know your duties.

Being responsible is a way to show how much you love her and care about her.

For instance, you can make dinner and do the dishes before she reaches home from work.

You should dedicate some time to spend with your children so that she can do her personal stuff in her free time like shopping or meeting friends, which could be absolutely helpful for decreasing her stress and making her mind off problems.

In addition, you should be more involved with children’s education and participate in school events sometimes.

For example, try to attend some teachers’ and parents’ meetings in order to show her how much you care about your children.


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8- Talk to her and take her to a counselor

two couples argument

If you do all the things above and still she yells at you, talk to her and ask her whether she wants to work on your relationship.

You can get some help from counselors.

Counselors can contribute significantly to this journey as they use some techniques to find the root of this aggressive attitude in her past.

For instance, a counselor can figure out if a person had experienced trauma before by asking deep questions.

Therefore, they can easily find out that her yelling is a remnant of her adverse experiences.

When they figure out the problem, they introduce you to a psychologist for getting more professional treatments.

Finally, you can solve your problem fundamentally.

When people say something like “my wife yells at me” to their therapist, they often don’t think about the root cause of this issue.

Make sure you consider all the reasons that she might be mad at you and then try to take an appropriate approach to solve your problem with your wife.


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Absolutely not! Shouting and aggressive attitudes should not be involved in a healthy relationship, and partners should do their best to solve their problems together. This can end in physical violence and emotional abuse. So, help your wife and figure out what your issues are.

Don’t forget that sometimes you are not the only person whom she is yelling at! In these situations, the reason can be a mental disorder and surely she needs to attend couples therapy and may even start anger management.


Why does my wife yell at me? 10 reasons you need to check!

1- She feels that she is ignored by you

She needs some attention, which indicates why she raises her voice.

Your wife wants you to listen to her carefully and have some reactions when she tells her story so that she can make sure you put some time for her.

For instance, when you reach home from work, you like to watch football or explore on the net, while she expects you to pay attention to her and ask about her day.

This attitude gives her the idea that you neglect her, and that she means nothing to you. Pay attention to this important reason, because otherwise, it is going to affect your entire relationship.


2- You are not a responsible husband

Moreover, have it in your mind that she may think that you are not responsible, which makes her remind you of all of your duties.

To be more precise, women have a huge aversion to sluggishness.

Hence, if they realize you do not have a proper occupation because of your laziness, they will definitely show their hatred of your traits.

A yelling wife is a sign demonstrating their discontentment. Women always want their men to be active and responsible.

You should not behave irresponsibly like a child.

So next time she’s yelling at you, make sure she is not mad about your duties.


3- You may have crossed the red line

Think carefully about the issues she cites in her arguments, as she may mention some of your mistakes.

Usually, the wife’s anger has a reason.

You may have done or said something that she is sensitive about.

Or, you may have crossed the line and done some inappropriate things, such as insulting her or her family and friends or what she likes.

Try to remember if you have criticized her in public or hurt her feeling in other ways.


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4- You have been unreliable

You may have acted in a manner or done something that led her to lose her trust in you.

In other words, your wife feels that she can’t trust you.

So, she does not find you trustworthy anymore and feels like she has to emphasize everything that she says.

Try to recall the promises you had broken and important issues that you had forgotten.

If you never hold your promises, she may show her anger by yelling at you.


5- You are out of money

Your financial situation may be another remarkable reason for your wife’s resentment.

If you have a low income, it may bother her considerably since she may not be able to become the breadwinner of your house as she has to take care of the children and handle her job.

Hence, she can panic about her and her children’s future lives. You may be expected to find a proper job to provide for your family’s welfare.


6- Your wife is under too much pressure

If you have children, and she has a job, she could feel that she is under a lot of pressure.

Therefore, she may act aggressively to show you how she is burdened with a lot of duties.

Your wife feels that handling a job and taking care of children could be overwhelming if her partner does not contribute to her household chores.


7- Not attractive enough!

Another reason that your wife yells at you is that she may have the feeling that she is not attractive to you anymore as she gets older.

In other words, as people get older they change and sometimes these changes are not pleasant to them.

So, these changes can lead them to have low self-confidence and suspect that their partner will not be attracted to them. Women always have their concerns about getting older.

If you teased her about her age, she would definitely feel insecure about her appearance.


8- Experiences in the past

Aggressive behaviors can be symptoms of her bad experiences in the past.

An angry wife may be a sign that she was insulted in her previous relationships, which prevents her from trusting anybody.

Search if she had bad experiences with her family or her previous partner.

For example, she may have experienced house violence and witnessed her parents’ fights at home. Her previous partner may have cheated on her.


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9- A reaction to your behavior

You may have shouted at her and said mean things that bother her so much and makes her anxious.

So, she yells at you in response.

To put it in a clear way, your behavior may be inappropriate that can humiliate her in public.

So, she wants to take revenge.

She wants to make you realize you have no right to act in such a rude manner.

For instance, you might have made fun of her clothes, body, and job, which humiliated her in public and ruined her self-esteem.


10- Doesn’t love you anymore!

Losing interest in you could be another reason to yell all the time so that you end your relationship with her.

This can also affect your sexual relationship.

When some people do not have any reasons to break up with you, they try to make you resent them so that you end your relationship voluntarily.

These people do not want to be with you.

They just want your financial support. Or, you may have some other benefits for them. As a matter of fact, they would break up with you properly if they were not interested in you.

Communicating with an angry partner needs some skills, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby explains how to deal with such a problem, in this podcast:


Pay attention to all of these seven pieces of advice that are mentioned above.

If your wife still shouts at you after doing all the things stated before, you should not let her continue her disrespectful behavior.

In this case, you should talk to her and see if she wants to break up with you.

If that is what she wants, we recommend you end your relationship as you are the person who may experience adverse mental, and physical disorders, and verbal abuse.

Being in an agitated environment all the time may pave the way for not only diverse mental disorders such as stress, and aggressiveness but also physical problems like MS, and high blood pressure.

The gist of it is that try your best to make everything right in order to improve your relationship with your wife since you might be the main reason she screams a lot.

Therefore, take your time and test all the ways we recommend to you.

But if after all the attempts you made, your partner did not want to change and accompany you to rebuild your relationship, you should respect yourself and try to leave that person as soon as possible.

Written by Saeed Ahmadi

Who am I? A blogger, mindset mentor, personal development coach, content creator, SEO Specialist, digital marketer, entrepreneur, reader by night, and writer by day.

Mindsetopia, my brainchild, is more than a platform, its my vision of a world where everyone has access to the tools and knowledge necessary for personal growth and self-growing.

What really makes me excited is helping people to unlock their true potential. So,I am here to give you the kick you need to change your mind and then your life :)

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