25+ Funny/Mean Things to Say to a Girl!!

So, are you stuck in a quarrel with a selfish girl and cannot think of anything creative to cause her maximum EMOTIONAL DAMAGE?

You are in the right place! I have prepared a list of mean things to say to a girl that can make almost any girl cry.

Yes, the title implies “how to hurt someone,” but I assure you that my intentions are quite the opposite!

The list of mean things to say to a girl can help you in two different ways:

When you are trying to get back on a girl the next time that you argue with one,
When you want to know how to avoid mean things to say to a girl to become the Prince Charming that every girl desires and loves.

Since I no longer want to waste your time, let me tell you that my list of mean things to say to a girl will give you all the jokes that target appearance, gender, character, feelings, relationships, and a few other stuff that would infuriate a girl.

Let’s dive in!

But before that, I suggest you watch this video, which talks about how to be funny without being a jerk:

Why You Should Never Say These to a Girl 

Social and cultural norms of society especially forbid a gentleman to use these sentences in any conversation.

People who use these statements are considered rude and sexist and are strongly rejected from any interactions.

If I use insecure, harmful, sexist, and improper statements in a conversation with a woman, society will label me as an insecure, controlling, entitled man.

So, I choose not to!

Mean things to say to a girl, regardless of her gender, will make you seem insecure, weak, and vain.

In an official context, saying something sexist and harmful can even get you fired!

 

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Why not?

Social and cultural norms of society especially forbid a gentleman to use these sentences in any conversation.

People who use these statements are considered rude and sexist and are strongly rejected from any interactions.

Society will recognize you as an insecure, controlling, entitled man if you use insecure, harmful, sexist, and improper statements in a conversation with a woman.

Mean things to say to a girl, regardless of her gender, will make you seem insecure, weak, and vain.

In an official context, saying something sexist and harmful can even get you fired!

Here is the list and some information that you might need to know:

 

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Appearance-Related Jokes

You cannot change the fact that all the girls are pretty, and their differences make them especially beautiful.

So, it will hurt them to hear mean comments about their appearance.

Body shaming and mocking somebody because of something that they have no control over is a shallow and idiotic action.

A gentleman knows that he is bound to avoid saying mean things to a girl. Uttering things like,

• You look fat in that dress.
• You look like a hippo.
• You shouldn’t have made that change to your appearance. It makes you uglier.
• You wear too much makeup, and you still are not pretty.
• At least your inside is prettier than your outside.
• Please do not eat that! You are already too fat.
• I wouldn’t wear that if I were you!
• You would be much prettier if you lost a few pounds.
• I would date you if you were prettier! You are too ugly/fat for me to date you.

These sentences seem simple, but they can shatter one’s soul and, most importantly, one’s confidence. 

You are not a mirror to reflect everything you see.

So, stop stating hurtful things even if they are true, and mind your business instead!

Anyone can get out of shape once in a while, and they surely know about it.

Girls check how they look every day and know that you notice the changes, but saying it out loud is very rude, and no girl likes that.

• Your sister looks way more beautiful than you do, and so does your brother.
•  I think your friend is the prettiest girl in your friend group.

One of the worst options on the Mean Things to Say to a Girl list is comparison. Comparisons are very cruel. She is not her sister or her best friend.

Girls might have different concerns and different tastes! So, if you think someone is better than her, stop dating her because you take her for granted.

She is the girl of someone else’s dreams, and you are wasting her time.

• Are you pregnant?

If I ask a girl: “Are you pregnant?” it can give off the signal that I think they look too fat.

Other than that, even if I have proof of her pregnancy or I just want to make sure, it can be a personal issue that she might not want to reveal.

Pregnancy is not a joke. It is one of the meanest things to say to a girl, and you should prepare for baddie comebacks to roast you!

• You look older than your real age.

Imagine that you said that. What is a girl supposed to do? She cannot reverse her aging process!

Genetics and life circumstances can have different effects on people’s aging process, and the reason is none of your business.

Having gray hair, being overweight, having skin disorders, etc., are sometimes out of her control.

It might be funny when you try to ridicule somebody’s looks, and they might even laugh it off. But trust me!

The words you say can affect their self-esteem, self-love, and self-reliance.

It can induce very harmful thoughts and actions, and there might be no way around it.

That is another reason you should always avoid saying mean things to a girl.

So, the ethical thing is to stay as far away from appearance-related jokes as possible.

Humanity is worth more than that.

 

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Gender-related Jokes

We all hear a lot of hurtful statements throughout the day that emphasize that girls are dumber or less intelligent than regular guys.

Still, these statements are wrong and are not even worth saying.

Mean things to say to a girl mostly consist of sexist jokes.

Being smart or dumb, knowledgeable or unaware, lazy or boring, could be a characteristic of anyone regardless of their gender, and they are always offensive.

When you relate mean words to a girl’s gender, it is both offensive and sexist. It’s the nastiest joke you can make.

My advice is just to keep your opinion to yourself, but if you plan on saying something like that, try not to generalize what you are saying.

• You are just another dumb girl.
• For a girl, you are pretty smart.
• Women cannot drive.
• You are only good in the kitchen, and so should all women.
• Good thing that girls are pretty, or else nobody would tolerate their dumbness.

Do not say anything like this. Please do not be sexist in 2024!

Denying her emotions

As a friend or partner, you must understand a girl’s concerns and emotions.

By questioning and denying them, you are not helping her calm down.

You only show her that you are not a supportive person on whom she can rely.

• You are a drama queen, overreacting all the time.
• You are so needy that anyone around you feels like they are raising a child.
• I think it is the time of the month again. You are talking nonsense.

Menopause and ovulation happen for every healthy woman on the planet.

Hormones affect people all the time, and though it is not for women exclusively, it changes their mood and behavior a lot.

Relating every emotion, anger, and sadness to her hormonal changes is an ignorant and childish action.

You should know that men are also under the direct influence of hormones, and they do not seem to control it very well, but nobody tells them that.

If you look for mean things to say to a girl, please have the honor and dignity of not entering hormonal changes into it.

 

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Relationship problems

If you are fighting with your partner or friend and you want to use mean things to say to a girl, it is best to stay away from all the following sentences.

Do not question your whole relationship, a small problem does not define you.

• I have been pretending the whole time.
• I never loved you. Just played with you.
• I wish I had never met you.

Fights and arguments tend to be transient, but if you say stuff like that while you are fighting, there is a good chance that she will never trust you again.

And what is a relationship without trust?!

• You ALWAYS do that.
• I was the one who tried to fix anything all the time.
• You never pay attention to me, selfish!

Is it the reality? I am sure it is not. Nothing is %100 when it comes to relationships.

When you use words like “always”, “never”, and “all the time”, she will not listen to you anymore.

Because she knows you are not being fair, and she will become defensive and try to use the same tactic on you. That is how arguments get bigger.  

• You only wasted my time.
• I do not have time for your childish problems.

If you have a relationship problem, keep reminding yourself that this person is the one you love and admire.

Concentrating on bad details will prevent you from seeing the greater picture.

Character-related jokes

• Nobody could ever love you.
• You never know what you are talking about.
• I have no idea how your family tolerates you.
• You are all looks and no character.
• I have never seen anyone as dumb and stupid as you.
• People only want you for your body, they have no other choices to make with you.
• You are not good enough for me. I am much better!

You can always make jokes about some of people’s characteristics.

But jokes are different from insults. Questioning someone’s intelligence, goodness, and character is cruel, and mean things to say to a girl are filled with them.

Other Mean Things to Say to a Girl

The list of Mean Things to Say to a Girl has countless options.

You can use every weakness or every concern of a girl to insult her, but if you love her enough, you will know what hurts her and what does not.

• You should ask my mom to teach you that.

Girls hate it when you compare them with your mom. Do not set up a competition between her and your mother.

Also, by saying this, you are implying that this is a task just for women! So you are being kind of sexist.

• Your mother is crazy!

The blood is thick. So a girl (or anyone for that matter) can be complaining about her family now and then, but it does not permit you to insult her family!

Insulting or mocking her family is another option for mean things to say to a girl.

Can she take a joke?

Ask yourself if the girl you are about to tease is open to jokes no matter what. If they are, you can use funny/ mean things to say to a girl easily.

But make sure to use them in the right context. Like when you are in a group of close friends who are used to jokes like that.

These sentences are funny/ mean things to say to a girl who is open to jokes, but if you plan on using mean things to say to a girl, you have to be prepared for the retaliation part.

A wrathful woman does not have any sympathy, and they might make you cry!

• When I look at you, I get reminded of my broken pencil because you are the same: pointless!
• I wish you could eat some makeup. Maybe you will be pretty on the inside, too!
•  Why do you brag so much? The only ones who think that you are a snack are the mosquitos!
• Barbie looks real next to you.
• I think a soap opera has less drama than you.
• Wow, you look pretty. Now the only missing part of your face is intelligence.
• I cannot explain it better to you, I am not your first-grade teacher.

So, what hurts the most?

It is very unethical and immoral to use people’s insecurities and weaknesses as a target for hurting them.

If you know her, you know what her priorities and concerns are. You can joke about them if she is not insecure about it or if you know she takes jokes very well, but if the context is improper, you can break her heart.

That is why I suggest avoiding awkward situations by staying away from the list of Mean Things to Say to a Girl.

Conclusion

I always hear people say, “Words are sharper than swords,” and we keep wounding people with our delicate tongues.

 If you are a heartbreaker or you do not want to break any more hearts with your words, I want to read this piece.

My 25 Funny/Mean Things to Say to a Girl list teaches you about the sentences that should not be used in any conversation with a girl because they are hurtful and rude.

Teenagers and girls are rather sensitive people, so these sentences should be avoided at all costs.

You can choose to hurt a person with these passages or use them as a joke.

They can make someone cry their eyes out or at least get offended.

Saying these things can only be fun if you are not on the receiving end.

By the way, I feel obligated to warn people who want to learn these lines for mean purposes: Karma awaits you!

In conclusion, you should always treat people respectfully. Try to read your audience, and avoid improper jokes.

But if you know that the situation demands you use mean things to say to a girl, use them carefully.