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It is a fairly familiar story: you know that you are beginning to feel something special for a friend, but you are not sure how to proceed.
Worst of all, the person you want has no idea what you’re going through and how do you feel or is he or she happy with considering you as a friend.
You’ve crossed into the dreaded “friendship zone.”
But wait, you don’t have to give up hope just yet because many relationships start as friendships.
However, since each situation is unique, take some time to evaluate the current situation before taking any action.
Being in this situation is unpleasant for everyone, but there are several strategies for dealing with it or even getting out of the friend zone.
Stay with Mindsetopia if you want to learn how to break out of the friend zone and transform a friend into a boyfriend or girlfriend.
What is the friend zone?
You must first understand what the word “friend zone” means before attempting to quit it.
When we talk about the friend zone, we’re referring to the case where you have a special feeling for someone and it’s unrequited love.
But, the person you love loves you only as a friend.
As a result, you might find yourself in a situation where you are not sure how to talk about your feelings to a friend because you are unsure whether the other person feels the same way about you.
This video from the Casually Explained youtube channel can also be very helpful to understand this term:
How do you know if you are in the friend zone?
If you want to leave the friend zone, you must first know if you can really be in it or not.
A person’s attitude toward you will reveal whether or not they are sexually attracted to you.
Here are some tips that help you understand their feelings:
. They talk to you about other attractive people
One of the important signs that someone is thinking of you as a boyfriend or girlfriend is that they are focusing and paying attention only to you in any situation.
As a result, one of the friend zone signs that can mean that you’re in it is when your loved one talks about how attractive other people are.
. No signs of attraction
We’ve all learned to recognize the signals of physical attraction that others may have for us.
In this way, determining how to tell whether a friend desires anything more than friendship is as simple as observing these signals.
If you’re having trouble figuring out what they are, we’ve put together a list of the most important hints in this post
. Not just you
When you meet them, you will notice that you are not the first person they speak to.
It may take a long time for them to respond to your messages, or they may not respond at all.
. They don’t touch you
When you’re in the friend zone, the people you care about rarely, if ever, touch you physically.
If you’re wondering, “How do I know if my friend likes me,” then touching can help you understand it.
This is surely a sign that your loved one is just looking for friendship and nothing more.
. Friendly attitude and language
The person’s behaviour and view toward you just serve to confirm that you are the target for friendship.
In this case, all you have to do is either leave the friend zone or embrace the fact that this person is not the right person for you.
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Ok guys, if you still doubt that whether you are in the friend zone or not then this video from the MantelligenceDating youtube channel can be very helpful:
Why are you in the friend zone?
Various attitudes can unintentionally place you in the friendzone of people you care about.
Perhaps you are the one that unconsciously and unintentionally inspires your loved one with the sign of the friend zone.
These are the attitudes that, according to psychologists, are most likely to cause an individual to be rejected by those who are we are attracted to them.
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1. You do everything they ask you
When a person has a tendency to do everything a loved one asks of him, this may lead to a descent into the friend zone.
The explanation for this is that by adopting a lower mentality, you emphasize your reliance on others, which could indicate that you have insecurities or a lack of self-esteem.
Since confidence is one of the key characteristics of someone who awakens others’ attractiveness, most people want a loving relationship with someone who has excellent mental well-being.
2. You agree with everything they say
Usually, you search for common ground in everything the person you love does. Still, the truth is that sometimes discord can be beneficial in arousing a sense of curiosity in others.
The best way to get out of the friend zone and avoid searching for ways to use jealousy to get a friend’s attention is to show your commitment to your ideals.
3. You don’t show romantic interest
Perhaps you are the one who establishes boundaries in your relationship.
When a person is nervous, shy, or humble, it can seem that they are not interested in learning how to come forward to a friend.
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4. Not the right person for you
People often look at people who aren’t really for us.
In these situations, it’s possible that what you’re looking for is something you need to focus on.
Maybe you’re one of those people who is drawn to someone based on their first experience, and that’s why you instantly put on the friend zone icon.
5. Lack of confidence
Another way to say if you’re in the friend zone, or if a woman likes you or if a man has noticed you, is to see if they get uncomfortable in your presence.
One of the most important factors in determining whether or not anyone likes you is trust.
In the same way, a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem is a repellent that puts you in the friend zone almost instantly
People who see each other in the friend zone always do so because they lack the self-esteem and security to demonstrate how important they are in front of their loved ones.
If this is the case, a licensed psychologist might be needed.
Working on your own well-being is the secret to attracting others.
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How to get out of the friend zone?
Is there a way to know how to get out of the friend zone now that you’ve recognized the issue?
In certain situations, the person may not want to be in a relationship with you
However, there are ways to get this individual to see your best side.
This does not imply that you can arouse sexual desire in someone, but it does imply that you can help others see your potential.
1. Method one: Understand your feelings
A. Ask yourself if you would date this person under normal circumstances or not
Consider if your friend and you are genuinely compatible before agreeing to sacrifice your relationship for a crush.
It’s perfectly natural to develop feelings for someone simply because you spend so much time in their company.
It does not, however, always imply that they are compatible.
Try asking yourself questions like the following:
- Do we have the same values or not?
- Is he or she the type of person that I would usually have feelings for?
- Are you in good time and totally ok to start a serious and good relationship?
- Do I believe it would be a good match for the right person or not?
- Are there any issues that could make the relationship difficult later on?
If you need to know that how you can understand your feelings better then this podcast from Noggin Notes Podcast can help you:
B. Accept that your friendship will change in unpredictable ways
If you tell a friend that you like him, it will almost certainly have an effect on their friendship.
If he has the same feelings about you, they will most definitely begin a romantic relationship, and it is impossible to predict how it will work out in advance.
If he doesn’t feel the same way about you, the relationship will become uncomfortable, at least for the time being.
Before you decide to express your thoughts, make sure you fully comprehend and consider them.
- If you have such a strong crush that it is difficult for you to be “just friends,” it is probably worth telling the other person how you feel about them. Those feelings will probably come to light in the long run anyway.
- If you’re just starting to feel a spark of attraction for a mate, you can wait a while to see if the feelings grow stronger or if they’re just passing
C. Avoid obsessing over every little sign that your crush likes you
You might be tempted to look for answers in all your crush does, from their posture to how much they look you in the eyes, but no two people are alike.
Some people are naturally flirtatious, even with their peers, while others are more reserved and won’t send you many hints, even though they really like you.
Although it’s fine to use the person’s behaviour to try to figure out if they’re interested in dating, you shouldn’t waste too much time doing so.
- This isn’t to suggest you shouldn’t pay attention to the obvious signs. If that person always compares you to his brother, for example, it may be a sign that he isn’t interested. It could mean that she likes you if she is very affectionate or flirtatious in your presence but not with other people.
- Consider telling your crush’s mates what they think of you. They would be able to advise you about whether or not you should tell him you like him.
D. Take a little distance for a while in case you’re undecided
Don’t hurry to change your relationship.
You don’t want to abandon him or her forever, but charging isn’t a good idea if you’re not sure if it’s the right time or if you’re still trying to figure out what you’re feeling.
Keep your attention on your relationship.
If those feelings are genuine, spending a little more time dwelling on them is unlikely to make them go away.
- If your friend is in a relationship or there are other reasons why you don’t think they might be together at the time, consider hanging out with other people for a while. However, you shouldn’t pretend you like someone else just to make your friend jealous.
- Avoid trying to bury your feelings for too long, as this can lead to a build-up of frustration or even resentment, and you will be tempted to see only the best in the person you like and not see them as a whole person. Just take the time to work out your feelings before moving on, as there is more at stake with an existing friendship.
E. Be honest with yourself about what kind of relationship you want
Consider if you really want to be in a long-term relationship or whether you just want to have some fun with someone for a while.
If you’re not sure if you’re ready to settle down, your friend may not be the right person to confide in.
Although a short adventure might be entertaining, you might lose a lifelong friend in the process.
- Similarly, if you’re ready to settle down but your friend isn’t, now may not be the right time to move things to the next level.
- Having a relationship does not always imply that you are no longer a friend. If anything, it’s likely to make things even more perplexing for the two of you.
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2. Method Two: Flirt with your friend
A. Spend more time alone together
If you’re frequently at a party, try to come up with ideas that you and your partner should do on your own.
Spending time alone with your friend can help your friend see you romantically. It doesn’t have to be a formal date at first.
You can also show her more of your true feelings if you spend more time alone.
- You may, for example, invite your friend to participate in activities that you know they love (such as going to a concert, going on a hike, or playing a sport together).
- You might also casually invite him to accompany you on errands, eat, or go shopping with you.
B. Let the eye contact last a little longer than normal
It can be uncomfortable to begin flirting with someone who has always been a platonic acquaintance.
Eye contact is a simple way to get off to a slow start.
When you and your crush exchange glances, smile a little and then keep their gaze for 2-3 seconds longer than normal.
Longer than this, it might seem like you’re staring at her in a chilling way. Then he looks away, still smiling.
- This can make your friend feel like the two of you share a secret and may therefore feel closer to you.
C. Break the contact barrier
Physical movements, particularly small ones, can be very flirtatious.
As a result, make an effort to be more physical with the person you want, as long as they are comfortable with it.
Begin with a small project (for example, touch her hand when they talk, hug her when you see her, or lean against her shoulder when they are standing next to each other).
You can gradually build it up from there whether she appears happy or returns your affection.
- Slowly increase your physical contact with your friend while being polite. Stop what you’re doing and consider apologizing for making him feel uncomfortable if he becomes nervous, frowns, or turns away from you when you approach him.
D. Give sincere compliments to the person you like
Compliments are an excellent way to make someone else happy without having to express your own feelings.
Try to praise your crush on particular aspects of her personality or style rather than something physical about which she has little influence.
- For example, don’t say, “You have beautiful and astonishing eyes,” but instead say, “I love the way you light up every time you see a cute animal!” or “I love the way you always make me laugh when I’m with you!”
E. Pay attention to your friend’s reactions when you flirt
Examine your friend for cues that will indicate whether or not he or she is open to your flirtatious attention.
If he’s relaxed, laughing, or flushed, lean in close and make eye contact with him; he may like you as well.
If that’s the case, feel free to continue flirting with him and see how things develop.
- He might not see you in a romantic light if he seems nervous, uncomfortable, or upset, so it’s probably better if you leave him alone. Other signs that he isn’t involved include his frequent mention of other people’s likes or his refusal to discuss romance at all.
- If he appears confused about how to act, he will simply need some time to get used to the idea, or he may be too polite to let you down. Before continuing, take some time to assess the situation.
3. Method three: Show that you are fit to date
A. Start small and work to increase it
You shouldn’t expect your friendship to turn into a passionate and perfect romance overnight.
Give time for the other person to become acquainted with the concept.
Go on a few nondating outings first, and then when the time is right, ask her out on a more formal date.
Allow your movements to become more flirtatious and playful over time, and if it seems appropriate, move on to more overt affection later.
If you are too insistent right away, you can simply drive the other person away.
- Learn to interpret your friend’s behaviour. It could be a positive sign if you react well to light flirting. If he normally closes his eyes or changes the subject when you show him affection, he may not be interested in you in that way, and it’s time to meet someone new.
- You shouldn’t be too subtle, though, because many people end up in the friendship zone because they don’t express their interest in the other person clearly enough.
B. Build yourself up to appear more confident
It’s quick to slip into goofy, self-deprecating humour when you’re buddies with others, where you bring yourself down to make them laugh.
Doing it too much, on the other hand, might make you look vulnerable, which isn’t the best foundation for forming a romantic relationship.
Instead, try to speak about yourself in a positive light, and your crush may see you in that light as well.
- For instance, sayings like “No one ever wants to date me” or “I’ll be alone forever” should be avoided. Instead, say something like, “I know there is someone out there who would love me just the way I am.”
- There would be no problem with you laughing with the person you like! In fact, it is the ideal. Just try to remember not to make yourself the punchline to so many jokes.
- If you’re having trouble seeing what you have going for you, it might be time to step away from the idea of dating for the time being. Instead, take some time to figure out what it takes to live your best life. It’s difficult to have a healthy relationship if you don’t recognize your own value.
C. Ask him for help with things
If you give your crush the opportunity to support you, believe it or not, they may like you more.
When you get the opportunity, ask for small favours (for example, take you somewhere, lend you a pencil in class, or help you with a project).
- Although you can believe that constantly doing favours for your crush can please them, this may sometimes backfire. Be available when they need you, but wait for them to inquire before offering assistance. Your crush may not see you as a love interest if you’re always available.
D. Give your friend space sometimes
You may want to spend every waking moment with your crush, but paying too much attention to them can make them feel claustrophobic.
Spend time doing things that you enjoy without the person you care for.
It’s important to remember that it’s safe to devote time to your own hobbies and interests even after you’ve been in a relationship.
Better still, this can provide an opportunity for your crush to know how much they miss you when you’re not around.
- Better yet, this could give your crush a chance to realize how much they miss you when you’re away.
4. Method four: Make the transition to a relationship
A. Make sure the time is right before letting him know your feelings
When you’re ready to tell the person you like them, try to find a quiet place where the two of you can be alone.
Other situational specifics should be considered as well.
If your friend is going through a difficult time in their life or has recently ended a long relationship, it might not be the best time to share your feelings with them.
- Your friend might be too shy to tell you about their feelings while they are with other people
B. Be direct about your feelings
Tell your friend that you want to say something to him, and then simply and heartfeltly clarify what you want to say.
Then, if they want to, give them the opportunity to answer.
- Try saying something like this one “I’m worried about telling you this but I really like you” or “We’ve spent so much time together and I like being with you. I feel something special for you and I just needed to tell you.”
- Avoid turning the conversation into a very long, dramatic monologue about how your life will only be perfect if the other person would be your partner. Just let them know that you are interested directly and straightforwardly.
- Don’t open up when you’re not serious. It may give you a sense of “courage” to be very confident, but neither of you can trust what is said when you’re drunk or high, and this can quickly get confusing.
C. Accept rejection gracefully if he or she says no
Unfortunately, you will be rejected at some point in your life.
Remember that this does not represent your worth as a person; rather, it simply means that the person you like does not see you as a couple.
Smile and say something along the lines of, “No problem, I just wanted to let you know,” and then walk away.
Make no attempt to persuade her to change her mind. She already answered you, and you must respect her.
- You must value her because she has already responded to you. You may be able to resume a relationship with this individual if you can set your feelings aside. However, if you’re hoping she’ll change her mind, don’t do it just to stick next to her. This would only make the pain of heartbreak worse.
- Spend time with your loved ones to gain comfort and keep your spirits up. You might also find it beneficial to write down your thoughts in a diary, or you might choose to keep your mind occupied with exercise or a favourite hobby.
- Remember to be proud of yourself for attempting. It took a lot of guts to do that! And being rejected is preferable to asking, “What if…?” for the rest of your life.
D. Ask the other person out if they seem receptive to the idea
Avoid keeping things open after you’ve expressed your feelings. Make it clear that you want to ask her out or that you want to be in a relationship with her unless she refuses you right away.
However, don’t put too much pressure on the individual to answer right away. Let him know that it’s fine if he wants some time to think about it.
- For example, you might say, “I think you’re fantastic and unique, and I’d love to have you as my girlfriend.”
E. Set new boundaries together in case you start dating
If your crush is open to exploring new feelings in more depth, then congratulations!
However, it won’t necessarily go from strength to strength just because you’ve gotten past that part.
It is possible that, as friends, certain things have been acceptable that did not fit in a romantic relationship.
Take the time to negotiate these things together and don’t hurry!
Let him or her know what feels good to you and what doesn’t, but you should also be a good listener when she has something to add.
- For example, they could talk about how often they will talk, how they will prioritize spending their free time together, and what is okay to talk to with mutual friends about and what is not.
- Have flexibility. These boundaries may change as your relationship deepens. This is completely natural and normal, and you must have an honest discussion about what works for both of you and what doesn’t.
- Avoid worrying if things are a little awkward at first. Just learn to laugh together as you get used to the changes in your relationship.
F. Don’t involve mutual friends in your problems
If you and your new partner have mutual friends, you can be tempted to go to them whenever you and your new partner fight or disagree.
However, using your friends as a “soundboard” is not fair to them.
It’s likely that some things were acceptable as friends that would not be acceptable in a romantic relationship.
- In case you are having serious problems in your relationship, it is okay to talk to someone else, but it may be best to choose someone who is not a mutual friend. You could instead choose a close family member or someone who has been a mentor to you.
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- If you think your friend is giving you mixed messages, it’s possible that they like you but aren’t sure how to express themselves while keeping the relationship intact.
- Hiding your emotions can be difficult, and it can put a strain on your relationship. If you really believe you have fallen in love with a mate, you should tell him so.
- Even if you do everything right, there is no guarantee that the other person will ever want more than friendship. In case you’re just not making progress, you need to have the fortitude to accept it and focus on being the best friend you can be.
- Stop your attempts at physical affection in case they make your friend uncomfortable. They may be too polite to say anything at first, but the last thing you want is to alienate someone close to you.
There you are! Mindsetopia really hops that this article would help you to get out of your friend zone and find a better life. Let us know what do you think in the comments.